He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
