didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
