We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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