i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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