it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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