Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Just cropdusted the office
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
