my mouth tastes like poor choices
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
