you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
