when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
