she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
