well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
