great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
farters have to be the big spoon...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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