He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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