He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Me too!
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
