its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
