Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
