Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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