I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
