i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Randomize
