I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
