I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
