do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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