HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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