yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
