you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
