but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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