Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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