How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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