Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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