Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
