PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
