Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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