Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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