So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
