we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
its liver damage thursday
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
