Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
