i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
