wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
