Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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