and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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