47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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