i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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