I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Sorry my hands just texted you
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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