Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
