we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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