Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
