i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
