You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
