Sponge bath it is.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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