I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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