How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
In America we eat man semen.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
