Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
