you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
